So I’ve been told by many people that one of the best ways to handle the separation of deployment is to get myself back into a routine and really focus on the tasks at hand. It helps to get your mind off the fact that your wife is in a far off land in a war and the routine itself becomes a comfort after experiencing the upheaval that comes from deployment.
For me, while establishing a daily routine has be helpful for having the day go by a little faster, it is actually more of a necessity for survival rather than a tool of distraction. There would be absolutely no way for me to handle the responsibilities of taking care of my daughter, my job, and managing a home unless I had some plan or structure. This is all kind of new to me because I’m not a “structure” kind of guy. That’s my wife. She’s the type A personality. I’m the “whatever type that isn’t A” personality. Despite that, I’ve come to rely on a routine to get me through the day and to ensure the house isn’t a disaster, my daughter doesn’t go hungry, and I can keep my job. Like I said, it’s a matter of survival.
Having a 17 month old makes it even more critical that I have something established because she doesn’t understand it when I explain to her that I can’t play with her right now because Daddy has to cook your dinner. I need to you sit here and not move for the next 45 minutes of so. Her normal response to that is an angry look and a “nnnnrnnnrrrrrrggghhh!!!!!” type sound. Followed by much wailing and gnashing of teeth (that would be me). A 17 month old sitting still is about as elusive as a male military spouse and they (the 17 month old) require ALL of your attention. So, to help facilitate my spending quality time with her, my schedule goes something like this.
- 6:00am Get up and get ready for day.
- 6:30am Get baby changed and dressed and give her a morning bottle.
- 6:45 Off to day-care
- 7:15 Work starts (also make coffee here)
- 11:30 Lunch but really it’s to run errands like going to the store.
- 3:00 start making dinner (still at work though – I work from home full-time, my firm is awesome.)
- 4:15pm sign-off of work, go pick baby up from day-care.
- 5:00pm play with baby
- 6:00pm warm dinner
- 7:30pm bath-time for baby, play with her some more.
- 8:00pm Skype with wife for a bit
- 8:30pm put baby to bed
- 9:00pm dishes, clean kitchen and all the food the baby has thrown on the floor.
- 10:00pm sleep
Rinse and Repeat.
Tip: Don’t Panic!
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him” Out of the ground the Lord God formed every beast of the field and every bird of the sky, and brought them to the man to see what he would call them; and whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. The man gave names to all the cattle, and to the birds of the sky, and to every beast of the field, but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and close up the flesh at that place. The Lord God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.
- Genesis 2:18-22
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