Yesterday evening I came to the sobering realization that movies like “Daddy Day Care” and “Three Men and a Baby” were never really supposed to be comedies. No, in fact, after taking a step back to survey the events of the past six months, it has dawned on me that those movies are actually very accurate documentaries. I will no longer point and laugh at the hijinks and shenanigans of the “actors” in those movies. I will no longer remark about how ridiculous, outlandish, and unreal some of those scenes are. I now understand that the creators of those movies were trying to depict accurate portrayals of what happens in real life when Dad’s are left to fend for themselves. The fact that I can now relate to every scene in those movies is, in fact, quite a revelation for me.
One night, after my daughter’s nightly bath I was left with a wet toddler and a wet bathroom and I realized I had a limited amount of time to dry both. Unwisely I decided that I should mop up some of the water on the bathroom floor before getting my daughter dressed.
Now, my daughter has recently become very mobile and very agile. After taking my eyes off of her for one second, I saw her throw down the towel and start running buck naked towards the bedroom. My bedroom. Being the agile little squirt that she is she proceeded to climb into my bed (which is actually taller than she is). Now, normally this would be kind of cute scene. Cute baby with a wobbly walk, running and squealing naked, climbing into your bed and wrapping herself up in a big mass of sheets and comforters. Kind of like one of those Downy commercials right?
My daughter has also recently learned to jump. She loves to jump. Jumping on the bed is even better. So here is my baby daughter in all her chubby toddler naked glory, bouncing up and down on the bed and squealing with delight. I’m doing what all modern parents do and hover over her to make sure she doesn’t fall but still enjoying her delight and excitement. The only problem is that I forgot that when babies get excited there’s also another natural reaction.
On my bed.
How glad am I now that my wife is home. This particular Daddy documedy is now over. Unfortunately being in the military almost assures us that a sequel is in the works.