This is a T.M.I. post.
So one day, as I was changing the diaper of my daughter, I thought about how nice it would be on the day where she’s potty trained and could pretty much take care of herself in that respect. No more being nervous of a surprise attack until you get that new diaper on. No more struggling with a wriggling baby. No more Diaper Genie and its sausage of poo to discard. Yes life would be good at that point.
So, naturally it got me thinking about potty training my 17 month old. Surely it can’t be too far off now could it? Like any guy I immediately began to think about which tool or gadget I could buy to make potty training a snap. Don’t they have those kid potties that sing and play music? I’m sure there’s a self-cleaning kind. I know! I need to get a potty from Japan! They have the BEST TOILETS IN THE WORLD! If I had one of those I could just plop her on the potty, stick my mp3 player in the cradle, stick a Yo Gabba Gabba DVD in the slot, wait 10 minutes and magically have a potty trained daughter, all multi-media like. This was going to be easy. I just needed to get myself to Babies R Us or a plane to Japan.
It was time to do a bit of research on the ol’ interwebz on how this potty training business really works. Basically, most of the websites all say that you’ll know when your toddler is ready for potty training when she begins to show an interest in it. Okay, she’s not showing any interest yet, so maybe I’ll have to wait. The websites go on further to say that one of the ways they learn how to go and how they develop interest is by watching their parents go. Okay, got it.
Wait.
What?
Oh no, no. NO! This is NOT going to work! It’s one thing to have a set of large wondering eyes stare at you while you go about your business (uncomfortable as it is) but it’s entirely another thing when it’s a daughter watching the father in order to learn how to pee?!?! Well, one big problem with that is how guys pee and my daughter’s current fascination with running water.
Yup. Let’s just let that sink in for a bit. Guys do their business standing up. My daughter likes to grab at running water. ‘nuff said.
The other issue is that she doesn’t need to know the guy method of going to the bathroom. She needs to know the female method. Standing up vs.. sitting down. Again, as a guy, this just hurts me to the core. Guys do not sit down to pee. It’s just not right. I have the most unamused look on my face when just thinking about it. Compounding the problem is that she’s a 17 month that gets into everything and therefore, cannot be left alone. So either I hold it until she’s ready for a nap or bed, or I…I…(sigh) sit down with her there with. Arrrrgh!
Yet another reason why having a deployed wife is no fun.
I could always train her on a “Go Girl” but my wife probably wouldn’t like that.
The Go Girl Funnel
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This is hilarious! It reminds me of my cousin (female) being told to be a big girl and "go potty like Jimbo" (my brother). The adults were all shocked when she stood next to the toilet and peed. It took them awhile to figure out why she refused to sit....she was just going potty like her older BOY cousin!
ReplyDeleteI too look forward to a potty trained child! Chances are Ella will get there before Caleb...I hear girls are faster learners in that area!