Stopping to Smell the Roses…

Wow… What a week it has been.  A week that I definitely would not care to repeat again.  I think I was about at my limit in terms of all things that happened this past week and my capability to handle things.  Between my daughter’s visit to the ER, subsequent hospital visit (all traumatic for her, by the way), freaking her out in the bathtub, and just the craziness of my regular job along with the household stuff; I’m amazed I’m still conscious.  I have never been so low on energy as I have been at the end of this week.  So much so that I actually did something that I haven’t been able to do in quite a long time.

I took an afternoon nap.

You might be thinking “What’s the big deal? People take naps all the time.”  Not this guy. I don’t know why but I’ve never been able to fall asleep while the sun is up.  You can ask my wife.  She always thought that I was just weird for not taking advantage of the Sunday afternoon nap.  I just thought that she liked to sleep… A lot.  But today was different.  I had no reserves left and after I putting my daughter down for nap, I laid down and then was out cold.  But that’s not the point of this post.

In the midst of all the busyness of the week I began to realize something.  Time was flying by.  There didn’t seem to be enough hours in the day for everything.  The seconds were zipping by and this deployment of my wife’s was going to over before I knew it.  Good thing right?  Well, yes and no.

While it’s good that time seems to be moving faster, the reason for that is because my days are just so jam-packed.  This causes another effect in which I’m so pre-occupied with all this “stuff” going on that I don’t really have time to think about how much I miss my wife.  I realized that today when I finally seem to have time to breath.

In some ways this is a good thing.  It forces me to be active and in turn prevents me from wallowing in my own self-pity and sense of loneliness.  But the weird thing is, I want to miss my wife at the same time I don’t.  I don’t because frankly, well, it sucks.  I do want to miss her because she’s my wife and I love her. It’s only appropriate that I miss her. Long for her. Wish she were home.  So today, when I finally had time to stop for minute, when things were finally calm enough at home for me to have time to myself, I found myself missing her.  A lot.  And I didn’t mind it one bit.